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Wednesday 07/17/2013 #1108

Holy Thunder and Fisty @ ???

Hash Trash:

Whiney Bitch had just finished telling me how everyone he knows has gotten really old. Also, the sky is blue and water is wet. Circle had started, but people were still trickling in. It seems the directions were a tad confusing, since we never really left the parking to lot to circle up down the block like we were supposed to. Whoops! As $5 $5 $5 was pulling in we heard a "POP!" "HISSSSSSSSSSS." Uh-oh. Sure enough, a hidden metal pipe in the ground went to war with his tire and won. Luckily, 8 guys felt the need to help...or stand around and talk about how they could do it better, same thing.

After promising that we would get lost, the hares were away. 15 minutes later, so were we. I don't know how ANYONE could have gotten lost when you have a check every two blocks. I also don't know how anyone could stop to rest. It's 95 degrees out, cut us some slack! The packed moved swiftly enough, except for some confusion near Jefferson and Fardy. Goldicox and Alley Oops  kept going across the bridge, having only seen two dots and being told that all false trails were marked false. Shits Bricks  and Dewey Sexual System followed. No blow job was found, until LockNut Monster  and Just John  came to see what we were all up to. "They're calling trail to the right." Ok, so we followed LockNut down the ramp to run along 40. Yeah, that 40. The interstate. Fuck. (Also, that's where the blowy was). We weren't technically on the interstate (not yet), but holy shit we were close enough. Running along the construction, we quickly realized that it ended soon and that our fellow hashers were crossing over via Ewing. Lucky us! Now, how to get up there? To our right was a hill and a fence. To our left was certain dea...and there goes LockNut, right across the traffic. A few of us waited for a break in traffic that never came, so we trudged up the hill and maneuvered around the fence. I don't know what the rest of the pack did, but it probably involved less peeing in their pants.

Beer Stop! I don't know if anyone else noticed, but we were on really shitty property. Oh yeah, everyone noticed and then we realized HoLateral Damage had some kind of connection to it. Postage Tramp and Dusty Box  were asked to leave (quite nicely I might add) but no one knew if he was joking or serious. I'm gonna go with serious. After the Beer Stop, a handleful of hashers found a CB 6. Most turned around (or had seen the hares go the right way) which lead you to the MetroLink stairs/elevator. Some just said fuck it and shortcutted above to Grand.

Beer Halt! Shit, seriously? 8 warm PBR tallboys? Ugh. Ok, we love beer, right? Down they go and away we go, back to Grand. I was following trail for a while, pretty faithfully. And then the glorious fountain. I could write for years about this fountain. Cold, wet, delicious fountain. It was hard to tell if hashers had gone in before us, but How Do You Like My Headlights NOW!? and Dewey dove right in. It was magical. Did I mention earlier that it was 95 degrees? It had cooled down to 90 at this point. Sweet, sexy fountain. Ok, back to trail, sorry. After the mmmmmm...fountain...mmmmmm, oh crap, sorry again. We followed trail and eventually caught up with Help Me I'm Wet, Just For Men and Just Just's Friend. We were obviously on trail, but no one was ahead of us. Turns out they were traipsing through SLU and getting stuck behind fences and inside dumpsters.

Finally, circle. PeePole sat the entire time and Postage Tramp didn't yell at him. I guess age trumps...whatever Postage is. Ultimate backslider Stitch Bitch was called in as well as the hares, Holy Thunder Down Under and Fist in Her Furry Ass. I'm not really sure, I just love when people yell out "When one Asian drinks...all Asians drink." Fisty hates it, it's hilarious.

Someone got hashshit. I think it was Pillow Fucker and his lady friend for not finishing sex on trail. Numb Buns lost her purse. 8 of us went to the on-after and ate deep fried bacon and reuben eggrolls. And someone maybe had sexy time with a certain fountain later on. Who knows?

SHITTY TRAIL!

On-On!
--
Dewey S. System



Directions:

She works hard for her money….


The Gods conspired against Midtown and somehow decided that Fist in her Furry Ass and Holy Thunder Down Under should work directly across from each other – guarding Locust from the creative riffraff and lost Pappy’s diners. Since we all know Thunder works too much and can never make it to Wed. hashes - we are bringing the hash to her! Come in your best business attire (just ties are okay – it’s too fricken hot for suits, but feel free to get creative) and be ready to enjoy a scenic Fisty-Thunder romp around our hood! On-on…


Meet on the corner of Washington and Huntley (Park in the lot at Garrison and Washington).

(d)erections – from the West or East– go on 40 – exit on Grand – turn (north) – drive to Washington – turn right. Drive till you get to Garrison and park on the lot on your right.
From the South – get to 44 – exit Grand – go North - drive to Washington – turn right. Drive till you get to Garrison and park on the lot on your right.

 


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Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999