the week before Christmas, when all through Francis Park
Creatures were stirring, arriving in the dark.
For the Christmas Lights Hash there’s nothing to compare
It was hoped that PMS and Postage would soon be there;
The hashers arrived, wearing lights and their red,
All had visions of boobies dancing in their head;
Bozo in blue light with Garage and Cock Tease
Had wandered off to go piss by the trees,
When out of the circle there arose two hares,
OCD and Stink sprang forward to give chalk talk with care.
Letters, dots and arrows were drawn in a flash,
And soon they were blessed and departed the hash.
A trail with lights, hot
chocolate and Schnapps
Gave way to the greatest of beer stops,
When arrived what to our wondering eyes should appear,
A big ass fire truck, and lots of cold beer,
The fire truck driver whose name might have been Nick ,
Said to the pack, “Climb On, I’ll drive to circle real quick”.
More rapid than racist, the hashers they came,
Each having a filthy, made up hash name;
"Now, DEWEY! now, QUIFER!
now, MUSTACHE and DMB!
On, MOONISTAT! on HEADLIGHTS on, DOUSCH and PURDY!!
They packed the inside cab and the top of the truck
And drove away! Drove away! Happy as fuck.
As we arrived back at circle, fresh from our fire truck high,
A very cold rain began to fall from the sky,
So up to the covered racquet ball courts we flew,
With the coolers full of beer, and other beverages too.
And then, with a bleat of
a whistle, a circle we did form
Packed in a small space to stay dry, cozy and warm.
Postage was running circle so we prepared to stay,
All hoping we wouldn’t be there til the next day.
All dressed in red with lights from foot to head,
Head? Who said head? I’ll take some of that!
Yes this song was sung, along with several more
Lock Nut was disappointed, no Harriett dressed as Santa’s Whore
A Virgin we did have who
twinkled and was quite merry
She dropped off the trail, so there was no busting her cherry!
Shits list of significant runs was so long he read it twice.
We celebrated Claims birthday and 100th run. Oh how nice!
Stinky Clause and OCD provided us with much merriment and laughter,
But being half drunk and the beer gone, it was time for the on-after.
With the long version of Swing Low sung the Christmas Lights Hash did cease,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND MAY THE HASH GO IN PEACE"