International House of Penis & Burn Rubber @ Burns Rubbers' Birthday Trail
Hash Trash: BH4 1046
Burn Rubbers celebration of the day she ruined her dad's sex life.
or is it Burns Rubber
or Burns Rubbers
Here follows one harrier's account of our night at Kickers, and that other stuff that happened before.
Seeing as the location promised not only a good chance of ending up in the Mississippi but lots of available
shiggy, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl the whole day.* So at 5:30 I
hopped in the car, threw Fellowship of the Ring in the cd player and
began my journey to the Ford of Bruinin..err..Sister Marie Charles Park.
After a thorough search of the coolers no Stag was found, nor even a
stale PBR, BOOOO!!! But there was plently of lime flavored fermented
In an inspired moment Goldiecocks hinted that since it was his 3rd hash,
it might be high time that I provide Just Dan with a bit of guidance.
Particularly since he was proudly announcing to all who would listen
that he had just bought his ridiculous pink shoes on the way over.
Eventually chalk talk began and the hares Burn Rubber and IHOP were
careful to explain the marks to be used on trail. Particular emphasis
was placed on the stealth intersections and random direction changes we
would encounter. Just in case we couldn't see the flour, the hares were
kind enough to bring some blue chalk that would really stand out in the
dark. With said chalk they explained the opposing hare arrow mark. (Good
thing we didn't run across that unexplained.)
The blessing ensued and the hares were off, assumedly to the bar as they
were more than a bit muddy when we arrived. I smell prelay.
Genital Tort proceeded to entertain us and lighten the coolers with many
a song, at least until he got bored and walked out of circle. In his
defense You'll go Blind was winking and making kissy faces.
Someone saw Norman Bates pulling in late so we decided to be nice and leave before he could get to the beer.
Luckily for him the hares put a beer halt at the start of trail. In that
really easy to see blue chalk, good thing we didn't miss it.
Shortly thereafter we happened upon a roped off mud pit I happily jumped in, no one followed...
The pack eventually discovered that if the FRBs all stop and turn around
TSA will flash you. Shits Jemima was seen loitering near a naughty
After a very nice and not at all confusing trail we eventually happened
upon a BN, 1/4 mile later we found a BS. Still no Stag but there was
Busch light, things were looking up. Eventually some shirts started
Heading out from the beer stop the pack made it almost halfway across
the park before getting lost, I suspect everyone was following Shits
Some time later we happened upon what was very obviously going to be a
BJ, so we all went that way. After a bit of zenning we found ourselves
back on trail and we hit the on in with one more virgin than we started
Circle was lively and had Stag, FINALLY! Notably Whiney didn't have one
negative thing to say about trail. The hares were actually congratulated
for their technical superiority. Holy Thunder missed most of circle but
as she showed up with high octane strawberries we forgave her. Queefer
did something stupid but I forgot what it was. Purdy Mouth still thinks
he is Fujirazzi. There were some very significant runs with
correspondingly very smelly headbands. Douche didn't even come close to
getting the hashshit. Only five people drank for bringing beer to the
hash, bunch of liars. I would tell more but if you want to know
everything that happened in circle GO TO THE FUCKING HASH YOU WANKS!
Eventually we wandered down Broadway to Kickers. You know its going to
be an interesting night when a cop car cuts you off turning into the bar
and the boys in blue jump out head your way and thankfully handcuff the
guy behind you. Claim to Flame looked a bit nervous.
The on after was well stocked with a variety of beer, good food and
drunken hashers. Birthday shots were consumed in abundance. It wasn't
too different from the many other bars we have been to until someone
stood on their chair. Purdy had gone and played Thunderstruck on the
jukebox. The singing and drinking continued for some time. Do my Butt
couldn't even accuse us of not Bungling hard enough.
* What's the statute of limitations on that joke?
** Nothing gets a party going like clammy hairy chests.