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Saturday 04/28/2012 #1013

Locknut Monster @ Fenton

Hash Trash:

It was a very overcast Saturday afternoon, with the promise of rain in the air, when a small group of hashers gathered at the parking lot of That One Place Bar & Grill in Fenton. This trail was completely last minute, with LockNut gathering his flour and t.p. from the Save-a-Lot next door just minutes before starting trail. But we all knew that last minute or not, it would still be a LockNut specialty and surely would not disappoint.

After a quick circle, Postage blessed him and sent him on his way. As we were waiting, Dick Smoker, who was donning his running flip flops this evening, had offered to take the beer to the beer stop, but wasn't making much effort to pack it up and drive anywhere. Barn Star, Funny Bone Her & Ice Princess offered to help move the beer over five feet to the beer stop, and were not too interested in starting the wet & hard trail, as the wind was picking up at this point.

So, Just Sarah (that's me), met up with the pack, who were stalled at a Chick Check, took one for the team, and was the only bitch on trail. Did I mention who laid this trail? Shit - I was doomed! But the trail luckily was short, and though we got temporarily lost in the shiggy, some strange looks from the residents as we ran through their yards and a few pointers from the neighborhood kids "he went that way!" all and all short and not too shitty.

And thank the hash gods for that because once we got to the beer stop (which looked surprisingly similar to the start), we couldn't help but notice the onset of forboding dark clouds which resembled a quickly approaching Armageddon. Once the tornado sirens sounded, LockNut bailed and quickly turned all haring duties over to Genital Tort, because we're hashers, and unless someone gets swept up in a damn tornado, the Hash goes on!  Well...sort of.

As we all were waiting for GT to set the trail, an absolute down pour hit, washing away much of the trail. And where was GT? Just Kelly & 3 Inch King made a valiant attempt to brave the tornado and find the trail, but their last ditch efforts were all in vain as the entire trail was lost. "We'll just wait here, drink our beer, and yell On-On when we see him" instructed Postage. Sure enough, a very doughy GT did emerge from the rain and hail.

Did I mention this was the most dangerous trail I've been on? In fact, we lost the new guy - That One Fucking Guy died on trail. That's fucked up shit, man.

We changed venues for the On After, and high tailed it to Meramec Jacks to enjoy such delicious cuisine as the legendary Winner Winner Chicken Dinner, Spinach Balls and Bacon Wrapped Wienies. It was here that I pulled yet another one of my ridiculous dumb blond moments, as Funny Bone Her noticed I had left my headlights on and my car was running. But I still had my keys... Damn autostart. Damn dumb blond moments. And with that I was whisked away and a name was created. I was instructed that the way it's said "How do you like my headlights NOW???", and a flash on the now is appropriate. Thank you Ice Princess for that touch. I must say, it's a name with a bit of an attitude, I like it!

How do you like my headlights NOW
Ps - I think I need an abbreviation.



Meet at That One Place Bar and Grill
1005 Majestic Drive
Fenton, MO 63026
What to expect: To Run and Drink

If lost call Locknut at 314-412-1893

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Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999