Saturday 04/28/2012 #1013
Locknut Monster @ Fenton
Hash Trash: It was a very overcast Saturday afternoon, with the promise of rain in the air,
when a small group of hashers gathered at the parking lot of That One Place Bar
& Grill in Fenton. This trail was completely last minute, with LockNut
gathering his flour and t.p. from the Save-a-Lot next door just minutes before
starting trail. But we all knew that last minute or not, it would still be a
LockNut specialty and surely would not disappoint.
After a quick circle,
Postage blessed him and sent him on his way. As we were waiting, Dick Smoker,
who was donning his running flip flops this evening, had offered to take the
beer to the beer stop, but wasn't making much effort to pack it up and drive
anywhere. Barn Star, Funny Bone Her & Ice Princess offered to help move the
beer over five feet to the beer stop, and were not too interested in starting
the wet & hard trail, as the wind was picking up at this point.
Just Sarah (that's me), met up with the pack, who were stalled at a Chick Check,
took one for the team, and was the only bitch on trail. Did I mention who laid
this trail? Shit - I was doomed! But the trail luckily was short, and though we
got temporarily lost in the shiggy, some strange looks from the residents as we
ran through their yards and a few pointers from the neighborhood kids "he went
that way!" all and all short and not too shitty.
And thank the hash gods
for that because once we got to the beer stop (which looked surprisingly similar
to the start), we couldn't help but notice the onset of forboding dark clouds
which resembled a quickly approaching Armageddon. Once the tornado sirens
sounded, LockNut bailed and quickly turned all haring duties over to Genital
Tort, because we're hashers, and unless someone gets swept up in a damn tornado,
the Hash goes on! Well...sort of.
As we all were waiting for GT to set
the trail, an absolute down pour hit, washing away much of the trail. And where
was GT? Just Kelly & 3 Inch King made a valiant attempt to brave the tornado
and find the trail, but their last ditch efforts were all in vain as the entire
trail was lost. "We'll just wait here, drink our beer, and yell On-On when we
see him" instructed Postage. Sure enough, a very doughy GT did emerge from the
rain and hail.
Did I mention this was the most dangerous trail I've been
on? In fact, we lost the new guy - That One Fucking Guy died on trail. That's
fucked up shit, man.
We changed venues for the On After, and high tailed
it to Meramec Jacks to enjoy such delicious cuisine as the legendary Winner
Winner Chicken Dinner, Spinach Balls and Bacon Wrapped Wienies. It was here that
I pulled yet another one of my ridiculous dumb blond moments, as Funny Bone Her
noticed I had left my headlights on and my car was running. But I still had my
keys... Damn autostart. Damn dumb blond moments. And with that I was whisked
away and a name was created. I was instructed that the way it's said "How do you
like my headlights NOW???", and a flash on the now is appropriate. Thank you Ice
Princess for that touch. I must say, it's a name with a bit of an attitude, I
How do you like my headlights NOW
Ps - I think I
need an abbreviation.
Meet at That One
Place Bar and Grill
1005 Majestic Drive
What to expect: To
Run and Drink
If lost call Locknut at 314-412-1893
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Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999