What a monumental hash #1300! Way to go Big-Hump!
Dewey, our amazing and might I add, stunning GM, whipped up some dandy shirts for purchase at the low price of only $8 each. Sales appeared to be good. She was mobbed at her arrival in the utter excitement of being able to receive one of these limited edition, available only while supplies last t-shirt’s. She said something about getting more made but, I wouldn’t count on it. It was cold out. Everyone was bundled for the weather and some people were unrecognizable. Poor Claim had to ride his bike to the hash because no one would give him a ride after he posted on the event page that his car wouldn’t start.
We circled up and Postage was RA. You know what that means, a long ass circle. We had two visitors from Memphis, Driving Miss Crazy and some guy with a funky nose ring. I couldn’t understand him when he said his name. They were nice but, didn’t know how to read trail marks. So confusing!!
Trail smelled pretty shitty as we walked along the flaming dump. Runners of course beat the walkers to the Shot Stop, where Disco had Fireball something or other to match the flames we saw at the dump we were standing next too. Beer would have been better. Trail went in two directions, The Eagle trail was swiftly found and they were off…the walkers trail just pointed at a massive retention pond that was surrounded by a 6 foot tall barbed wire fence. Good thing Chewy was with us so he could sniff out a tree to poop on instead of help us find trail. We could hear the runners and see their cranium lights so we were heading the right direction. I don’t remember there being a beer stop. Was there? That’s shitty Disco. No beer stop?
The pack made it back to circle with only a few bloody noses from the Eagle trail and I recall the walkers taking the long ass way around the pay by the hour motel we circled by. I just shot across the back lot and had a beer in hand before they rounded the building. Idiots. Why the fuck would you take the long way?
Postage was told by PMS that he was having a short circle. He listened to her because we all know Pemmers wears the pants in the family. Several folks asked if we could keep our cranium gear on and as if he had been waiting to say this he shouted “This is no Stinky circle! No cranium gear allowed!!” It’s really all Postages fault that I woke up with no voice Thursday morning. I’m sure if I hadn’t removed my cranium gear I’d be fine.
We had some beer, sang some songs, down downs were done and then we went to the on after…. all in all it was just another shitty trail.
Cum one and all to the spectacle of 1,300! Disco Ass is going to put you through the ringer, goin to whip yo ass real nice like somethin special, like in a gat dam accident.
We will be hashing in Bridgeton. Bridgeton, Mossouri. This is where, if you've lived in St. Louis for more than 10 years, they took your diapers, hotpockets wrappers, discarded cum kleenexies and Big League Chew packets after your threw them in the garbage. But guess what, the garbage wasn't going quietly. It is now on fire and is making a serious play to get revenge on yo ass.
That's right, you carelessly discarded all yo nasty ass trash, now it's out for blood! Come back and face it like a man! or woman with a penis! or a man with a vagina! No genital/gender combinations turned away...
We have 30 T-Shirts of various assorted sizes. If you show up early and are prepared to pay $15 for hash cash, you'll not only get an ass kicking, lung busting, chromosome permanently altering hash, you may just get a T-Shirt for your trouble.
Circle - the most generically named hotel in the area: "The Lodge Hotel and Banquets" - 3551 Pennridge Dr, Bridgeton, MO 63044
Go to the right of the front of the hotel, then look for circle on the right behind the defunct law office building.
Things you might want to bring:
Cranium lamp, shiggy socks, shiggy stomper, nose plugs/gas mask, thirst for adventure, Rams gear you no longer want, lazy ass.
On After - the most generically named bar in the area: "Sports Cafe" - 3579 Pennridge Dr, Bridgeton, MO 63044