It was a Dark and Stormy afternoon in down town Saint Louis when I realized it was time for the Hash. Could it be that every time PMS hares a run, there is a major storm thought I? Maybe it was not the innocent Canadian co-hare that caused the storm two weeks ago but PMS?

Things started to clear up as I approached the friendly town of Kirkwood by the 44 and 270. However, once there I started to wonder if I had wondered into a new Saint Louis Hash. All around me where people I don’t know who kept saying “The paper made me cum”. It was really strange when I was handed a phone and asked to give directions to an unnamed hasher (Ok, it was DMB) that seemed to be stuck at a level crossing by a very long invisible train and needed another way to get to the start. I’m kind of surprised she made it following my instructions.

Promptly at 7 (or maybe 7:30) we circled up with an excellent chalk talk (which was a good thing with all the new ones) given by PMS and maybe a couple of other people. I not sure as I seemed to have gotten stuck in a beer cooler by this point. This was about the same time that your humble scribe was selected (or was that railroaded) to produce this outstanding piece of literature.

Once the pack was away, there was a number of interesting events on trail. One of the first was the strange sight of a bunch of Hashers pushing a van over The Big Hump of the overpass. It was going the way the trail went so I guess it was not so unusual for the Big Hump Hash to do Hump related activities. I think the driver of the van actually wanted to go that way as well. This friendly act to the local population was very shortly repaid by a rather vocal lady (?) that informed the pack that we should not be on the train tracks. Perhaps this warning was a result of number of very long invisible trains that seem to run in Kirkwood? This was a minor setback as the pack was thrown into confusion as there seemed to be no other way for the trail to go. A few brave Hashers checked out the near by police station to see if the trail went that way, but no luck there. With all the other avenues ruled out, the pack, with very short memories, set off once again down the hill and NOT along the tracks. As the bulk of the pack was merrily NOT following the tracks, the FRBs experienced some more of the Kirkwood local hospitality. Wee Willy Winky was doing some fast dancing with the local constabulary. It seems they where concerned about people on the tracks. With all these invisible trains, I don’t know why anyone would be out on the tracks! After the near the track incident, there seemed to be a need to go underground. Where better to go underground then a rather small sewer (some say water) pipe. Thanks to Postage staying in the middle of the pipe with a light, there was no one lost in the deepest part of the pipe.

Coming out of the pipe, what was left of the pack found a mystical wonder land of heat and mist. Mudpacker gallantly led the way through this wonderland to yet another of the local constabulary who wanted to know if we where on the tracks. Since we had just crawled out of the deepest Kirkwood Jungle, I thought this was a strange question. I was starting to think Kirkwood had invisible tracks to go with the invisible trains! Luckily the BS was just a short stumble Uphill from this point.

We started to think we may have taken too long enjoying this excellent trail as we came into sight of the nice little shelter the Hare had knocked together for the BS while waiting for the pack. PMS had also laid on a wide selection of waters to re-hydrate the energetic pack as we stayed well away from any sort of tracks. Once the BS was dry, the pack quickly moved back to the On In where various and well deserved down downs happened. Your humble scribe missed most of these as I had taken it upon myself to sample all the various type of ‘water’ that had been provided by the B Meisters. In all, the evening seemed to be a great success and hopefully PMS had a good Birthday Hash.

- Dapper Sapper, Hogtown HHH

FRB:Just Anthony & Disco Ass

Hashshit was awarded to Viper Snatch for making the entire city come. Thanks Cubs Suck!

Attendees: